"away forever" message

This is it: my last day after six and a half years. It's not much different than all the rest. I'm drinking tea, have already consumed a maple glazed donut, grabbed money from the safe (legally!), and am waiting for noon when I launch open those giant front doors and am nearly stampeded by eager patrons.

I suppose some bits are different. My belongings are tucked in a box, I'm copying my work music onto my external hard drive (legally!), and I'm tying up loose ends with the ever trusty square knot. My last note to EC keeps growing longer and less coherent, with wacky perpendicular asides that begin with "oh, by the way," and end with "but you won't have to worry about that for a while." Silly, really.

I also set up my final automated e-mail reply so folks trying to reach me after today will know that my disappearance was planned and they ought not call out the bloodhounds. Unless they really like bloodhounds. And calling them. Here is what people will receive in their inboxes immediately after they e-mail me:

This is an automated reply (actually, I'm a squirrel that was hired to monitor & respond to this e-mail account, but I type the exact same message every single time...how's that for consistency!)

Michelle Williams' last day at the Knight Library is Saturday, August 7th. If you are contacting her after that auspicious date, please direct your inquiries (or comments for that matter) to EC, her successor:

Thank you & please do have a lovely day!

Cheers,
Michelle (as typed by the for-hire squirrel)